she reached
into her make-up bag
and shaded
my eyes
reddened my
lips
she pulled
at my hair
until it
formed a cat sleeping
I wore a
bride’s dress
sat at the
head of the table alone
admired
I was four
long-haired
and thin
waiting to
be Lolitized
manners quiet
and light
my sleek
fingers swift
running the
pages of heavy knowledge
I recited
greetings and facts
and all the
little boys in the room
loved me
until I
went at them armed
with
atlases of animals
and insults
they could not understand
– and heartbreak
I remained
the girl they tried to kiss
for two
whole years
girl with a
grip trained to snap their arms
always a
step ahead
until there
was no one following me
the envy of
mothers stopped
little boys
grew
and I was
left with books –
greetings
and facts to recite